Posted in Love Poetry, Memories, Photography, Reflection

Rainbows and Puddles

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The clouds looking so sad as loneliness trace each line
The wind is gushing and every whisper shivers
I can feel its pain and the turmoil inside
The sky is like a blanket of gray with what’s left of the light
It feels heavy as its tears are ready to let go.

Staring blankly from my window
The weather seems duplicating my emotions
I looked deeply into the darkness
Somehow I want to find a glimpse of heaven
Somewhere I want to find a glimmer of a shadow.

I started reminiscing the moments of you and I
I recounted the times we had together – the good and the bad
When you were my company of pursuits and day dreaming
When you helped design my written ideas into pictures
When you swayed my goals and painted it into a reality.

I began to find myself smiling at the recollection of you
My tears flowing not because I am sad but because I feel blessed
I had you maybe for a short time but those were moments of true love
You’ve taught me how to dream and be inspired of simple things
You’ve showed me how to love patiently even if it takes time.

The rain has stopped and the sun’s up to glitter and shine
I can see the rainbow as the white clouds covers the skies
I peeped through with a hope of seeing you once again – just this time
There I saw at the rainbow’s edge –  You staring back with that same look of love
There, I know that even up there you will still paint my dreams with me.

For my Shadow….1 year on 10th Dec.
Always in my heart my little girl.

6 Dec 2015
20.56 pm

Posted in Love Letter, Love Poetry, Writing

So many things…

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There are so many things clouding over me
I want to tell you in different ways, to no avail
So many things I want to say for my head to open up
So many things, but then my heart could not utter
The many things I just want and need to.

There are things I keep on playing in my head
The words scrambled in different angles
I don’t know which way to tell you
I can’t find a chance, a space nor a time to say
Because my heart says another way.

So many things in my heart that feels pain
There’s that emotion of turmoil and questions
I know in my heart you are real and pure
I know in your heart you are sincere and true
Yet there are things you do I don’t understand.

There are many things you have said
Many things I consider and hold in my heart
Yet there are things you say so much but never do
The things you say differs from the things you do
Things you cannot see to change nor need to be.

Tonight laying down next to you, many things come to mind
Things I have asked my heart while my head thinks
I have asked my heart, “Are you feeling okay?”
My mind in a muddle, feeling lost in a battle
So many things I don’t want to regret in the end
Tonight I want to ask, “Can you, out of many things I say make just one thing right?”

Anja-Mariela
05 Jul 2015
23:32

Posted in Dear Diary, Love Poetry, Memories, Reflection, Writing

Looking back

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The year is ending –  it has been a rollercoaster ride.
So much has happened – many have come and gone
I can not fathom – some questions left unanswered and some has.

Remembering, some were filled with dismay – the fear of losing, the pain of loss and the feeling of surrender.
Days became weeks and then months, I came across the silver linings of life.
Down on my knees with only a prayer to hold on to – I let it lead me.

Reminiscing, I have found strength but I have witnessed courage.
I have seen hope at each passing days and nights when life remained on a stand still.
I have felt faith through watching every pain and tear.

Looking back, I have learnt from someone’s soul through their eyes.
I have been shown light and a glimpse of the rainbow.
I have sensed comfort through every fall and a hand through which I stand.

In my reflection, I have so much to thank for – I call my blessings.
I have a knit – may not be in the same place but tied tightly to reach another
I have angels – my special stars to shine brightly in the skies when I’m in the dark.

While contemplating, my heart is filled with thanksgiving.
I have my own compass to hold on to each step of every journey
I have a guide to get me through thick and thin…through joys and pain.

God is my North – the centre of my being
Family is my South -the love of my life and I turn to no matter what the odds
True friends – my West to which I hope I can lean on when I need to
Myself is the East – the balance to self, a walk to life and a gift of living.

Anja-Mariela G.
31 Dec 2014
09.20

Posted in Love Poetry, Memories, Reflection

Remembering Shadow

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Death is nothing at all

I have only slipped away into the next room

I am I and you are you

Whatever we were to each other

That we are still

Call me by my old familiar name

Speak to me in the easy way you always used

Put no difference into your tone

Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow

Laugh as we always laughed

At the little jokes we always enjoyed together

Play, smile, think of me, pray for me

Let my name be ever the household word that it always was

Let it be spoken without effort

Without the ghost of a shadow in it

Life means all that it ever meant

It is the same as it ever was

There is absolute unbroken continuity

What is death but a negligible accident?

Why should I be out of mind

Because I am out of sight?

I am waiting for you for an interval

Somewhere very near

Just around the corner

All is well.

Nothing is past; nothing is lost

One brief moment and all will be as it was before

How we shall laugh at the trouble of parting when we meet again!

This poem was given by Catherine Hazleton – a very good friend who knew what to say.

10 Dec 2014 at 4.33pm – I lost my Shadow.

Posted in Love Letter, Love Poetry, Love Story, Writing

Seems like a Fairy Tale…

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Scanning through the pages deciding on which meal to order
The picture looks so appetizing and is enticing my palate
It made my mouth water and so as my stomach complaining of hunger
The smell of the aroma  inside the place is captivating, I thought
The buzzing sounds in the room felt lyrical as each one catches up to the days’ end.

While I browse through the menu, I felt a tingling sensation – sent shivers to my spine
A pair of eyes intently gazes through the laminated brochure
I giggled like a little girl covering my flushed face with the colourful cardboard 
You looked up with the sweetest smile and asked, “What’s funny?”
I replied with a gush in my voice saying “Nothing” as I reached out to gently cup your face.

The meal was delicious, the atmosphere romantic and the music nostalgic
We left the place, walked hand in hand like we are in a slow dance
The street lamps in array as the moon displayed its magnificence
The stars flicked like chandeliers across the evening sky
You wrapped your arm around my waist and pulled me close to you as passersby looked in amazement.

Being held by you without a care in the world felt so enchanting
As I rest my head on your shoulders I whispered, “I’m yours and always.”
You gently lifted my head with a loving stare piercing through my soul and said, “And I am yours forever.”
I looked back – my hand on your chest, I can hear our hearts’ beautiful rhythm
As the night bear witness to a one magical moment of a fairytale love to remember.

Anja-Mariela
13 Nov. 2014
7.36 pm

Posted in Dear Diary, Interests, Love Poetry, Reflection, Writing

FRIDAY…

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Feeling exhausted from the days that don’t seem to end
From the beginning of work week there goes the endless task
From when I start there is that hope for a good week
From that moment there is that notion of counting hours and soon counting days.

Reeling over the days as it slowly passes by
Rain or shine the weather just comes to capture its purpose
Restless nights becomes a thing of the past
Relieved and relaxed to completing the list of errands at hand.

In so many ways I start to make my plans
I imagine how I will be spending my time off – away from it all
I picture myself in a hammock between palm trees swaying to the breeze
I can see the waves rushing and touching the sand as the sound fills the air.

Danced in the moonlight as the stars flicker like diamond lights
Dancing barefeet as my feet feels the soft sand that tickles my toes
Dusk til dawn nature’s sound will be chanting like a lullaby
Day rises to its fullest and shines to another magical play.

As I fill my hours with these happy thoughts
Another hour is completed, another minute fulfilled
As I hear the clock ticking in motion, every second is moving on
Another moment of excitement draws me nearer to going home.

Yet today may be just a thought that crossed my mind
Yesterday’s bad day is just another day gone
Yearning to fill my days with beautiful scenes and places
Yes today is almost over and tomorrow is mine to take away as it comes.

Anja-Mariela
12 Sep 2014
11.17am

Posted in Love Letter, Love Poetry, Photography, Writing

It’s 2 AM

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It’s 2 am – the night’s over as dawn and cold wind fills the air
I’m still wide awake – feeling chilly under the sheets
I pulled the blanket tighter to hopefully cover the draft
I tossed and turned to find a perfect pose to sleep
No matter how I try the bed  still feels hollow and empty.

It’s 2 am – my eyes still searching for a way
The void I feel inside is exhausting me – it’s frustrating
There’s this anxious feeling of waiting for tomorrow to come
I clutched the pillow next to me as I looked at the vacant spot
Running my hand on your crumpled space thinking how much I miss you.

It’s 2 am – I stared at my phone wishing you’ve read my mind
There is that silent prayer – that maybe you woke up thinking of me
There is that whispered hope – that maybe you’re missing me
There is that spark of warmth – that you dreamt of me
Just a “Hello” will be enough for me to shut my eyes.

It’s 2 am – I decided to try as I am getting jaded
Then suddenly I hear a ring – I’ve got a message
I felt butterflies in my stomach – a sweet tingling in my ear
Excitedly I checked – a note from you saying, “Hush little one and close your eyes, I’m here.”
It’s 3 am – tightly I cuddled your pillow, now I’m off to beautiful slumber deep.

Anja-Mariela Gutierrez
26 Aug 2014
3.03

Image credits to bikerornot.com