Posted in Dear Diary, Reflection, Writing

Broken…


It’s past midnite and I’m still up…

I could hear my heart beating…

My thoughts racing about anything…

My mind mapping out about tomorrow…

There’s a sense of dread and a handful of doubts…

Of what tomorrow brings or what I will be facing…

Yes, tomorrow is another week of laughter yet 

there lies torment of clouds in what I do…

The smile and the laughter is my mask to cover my vulnerabilities…

The silver linings clings and overwhelms my soul…

I want to shout but I can’t as there are issues other than me…

I want to say something but my eyes see more pain that I have…

Now I guess I am lost… I am drowned… and I am broken.

Posted in Love Poetry, Prayer, Reflection, Writing

When the snow fails to fall

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When the snow fails to fall
The celebration seem like a fleeting glance
The festive season came to pass – glided and sailed away
It felt like a distant memory of a yesterday’s dream.

When the snow fails to fall
The excitement of every game to play is hollow and distant
The anticipation of waiting is a lost battle and entangled in between
For that one special moment now becomes the same ordinary day.

When the snow fails to fall
Imagine the feeling of wintry mist as every laughter warms the air
Children playing snow angels as Mr Snowman smile in delight
With every grown up join in the merriment as they clutch balls of snow to throw.

When the snow fails to fall
There is that little child’s dream shifting to a mirage
Whispers of prayers heeding  for a snow flake to drizzle
That tonight as they lay to sleep when they wake up a blanket of white covers every street.

When the snow fails to fall
There is that ‘maybe’ in every heart’s wishes
As the sleigh in the corner awaits for a joyride
A sigh is uttered, if not today ‘maybe’ then tomorrow I will dream again.

29 Dec 2015
Vienna, Austria
12.21 pm

Posted in Love Poetry, Memories, Reflection, Writing

One Winter Holiday

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A foggy morning enveloped the skies above me
Whilst walking along the streets of Christmas Market
The quiet and empty spaces seem so enviting as roasted chesnuts start to fill the air
A few people coming and going, checking and nosing around
In every stand of little things and keepsakes up for last minute shopping.

The morning dew smells like fresh drops of winter
The chilly breeze bringing sweetness to each breath I take
Violins playing in every corner street as passers by stop to listen
Holiday cheers unfolding as carols can be heard in every stores and shop
That as the day breaks into noon, the once quiet place is filled with harmonious titters.

The silence now broken with the festive sound of angels’ choir
Strangers greeting one another as children smile from ear to ear
Traces of excitement in their eyes as they count the hours left to sleep
Lights surround from nook to nook as bells ringing to the wind’s whispers
While Jolly Old St. Nick’s rosy cheeks lifts the young and old into high spirits.

The wintertide radiate in every child and child at heart into dreaming
That every yearning is filled with the magic of love
There is that longing for beautiful surprises to look forward to
That as soon as Jack Frost bids farewell chances are, tomorrow hope springs
For there’s another winter break to await with pocketful of lists and  a handful of wishes to make.

26 Dec 2015
Vienna, Austria
21.23

Posted in Love Letter, Love Poetry, Writing

So many things…

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There are so many things clouding over me
I want to tell you in different ways, to no avail
So many things I want to say for my head to open up
So many things, but then my heart could not utter
The many things I just want and need to.

There are things I keep on playing in my head
The words scrambled in different angles
I don’t know which way to tell you
I can’t find a chance, a space nor a time to say
Because my heart says another way.

So many things in my heart that feels pain
There’s that emotion of turmoil and questions
I know in my heart you are real and pure
I know in your heart you are sincere and true
Yet there are things you do I don’t understand.

There are many things you have said
Many things I consider and hold in my heart
Yet there are things you say so much but never do
The things you say differs from the things you do
Things you cannot see to change nor need to be.

Tonight laying down next to you, many things come to mind
Things I have asked my heart while my head thinks
I have asked my heart, “Are you feeling okay?”
My mind in a muddle, feeling lost in a battle
So many things I don’t want to regret in the end
Tonight I want to ask, “Can you, out of many things I say make just one thing right?”

Anja-Mariela
05 Jul 2015
23:32

Posted in Dear Diary, Love Poetry, Memories, Reflection, Writing

Looking back

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The year is ending –  it has been a rollercoaster ride.
So much has happened – many have come and gone
I can not fathom – some questions left unanswered and some has.

Remembering, some were filled with dismay – the fear of losing, the pain of loss and the feeling of surrender.
Days became weeks and then months, I came across the silver linings of life.
Down on my knees with only a prayer to hold on to – I let it lead me.

Reminiscing, I have found strength but I have witnessed courage.
I have seen hope at each passing days and nights when life remained on a stand still.
I have felt faith through watching every pain and tear.

Looking back, I have learnt from someone’s soul through their eyes.
I have been shown light and a glimpse of the rainbow.
I have sensed comfort through every fall and a hand through which I stand.

In my reflection, I have so much to thank for – I call my blessings.
I have a knit – may not be in the same place but tied tightly to reach another
I have angels – my special stars to shine brightly in the skies when I’m in the dark.

While contemplating, my heart is filled with thanksgiving.
I have my own compass to hold on to each step of every journey
I have a guide to get me through thick and thin…through joys and pain.

God is my North – the centre of my being
Family is my South -the love of my life and I turn to no matter what the odds
True friends – my West to which I hope I can lean on when I need to
Myself is the East – the balance to self, a walk to life and a gift of living.

Anja-Mariela G.
31 Dec 2014
09.20

Posted in Love Letter, Love Poetry, Love Story, Writing

Seems like a Fairy Tale…

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Scanning through the pages deciding on which meal to order
The picture looks so appetizing and is enticing my palate
It made my mouth water and so as my stomach complaining of hunger
The smell of the aroma  inside the place is captivating, I thought
The buzzing sounds in the room felt lyrical as each one catches up to the days’ end.

While I browse through the menu, I felt a tingling sensation – sent shivers to my spine
A pair of eyes intently gazes through the laminated brochure
I giggled like a little girl covering my flushed face with the colourful cardboard 
You looked up with the sweetest smile and asked, “What’s funny?”
I replied with a gush in my voice saying “Nothing” as I reached out to gently cup your face.

The meal was delicious, the atmosphere romantic and the music nostalgic
We left the place, walked hand in hand like we are in a slow dance
The street lamps in array as the moon displayed its magnificence
The stars flicked like chandeliers across the evening sky
You wrapped your arm around my waist and pulled me close to you as passersby looked in amazement.

Being held by you without a care in the world felt so enchanting
As I rest my head on your shoulders I whispered, “I’m yours and always.”
You gently lifted my head with a loving stare piercing through my soul and said, “And I am yours forever.”
I looked back – my hand on your chest, I can hear our hearts’ beautiful rhythm
As the night bear witness to a one magical moment of a fairytale love to remember.

Anja-Mariela
13 Nov. 2014
7.36 pm

Posted in Dear Diary, Interests, Love Poetry, Reflection, Writing

FRIDAY…

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Feeling exhausted from the days that don’t seem to end
From the beginning of work week there goes the endless task
From when I start there is that hope for a good week
From that moment there is that notion of counting hours and soon counting days.

Reeling over the days as it slowly passes by
Rain or shine the weather just comes to capture its purpose
Restless nights becomes a thing of the past
Relieved and relaxed to completing the list of errands at hand.

In so many ways I start to make my plans
I imagine how I will be spending my time off – away from it all
I picture myself in a hammock between palm trees swaying to the breeze
I can see the waves rushing and touching the sand as the sound fills the air.

Danced in the moonlight as the stars flicker like diamond lights
Dancing barefeet as my feet feels the soft sand that tickles my toes
Dusk til dawn nature’s sound will be chanting like a lullaby
Day rises to its fullest and shines to another magical play.

As I fill my hours with these happy thoughts
Another hour is completed, another minute fulfilled
As I hear the clock ticking in motion, every second is moving on
Another moment of excitement draws me nearer to going home.

Yet today may be just a thought that crossed my mind
Yesterday’s bad day is just another day gone
Yearning to fill my days with beautiful scenes and places
Yes today is almost over and tomorrow is mine to take away as it comes.

Anja-Mariela
12 Sep 2014
11.17am