The clouds looking so sad as loneliness trace each line
The wind is gushing and every whisper shivers
I can feel its pain and the turmoil inside
The sky is like a blanket of gray with what’s left of the light
It feels heavy as its tears are ready to let go.
Staring blankly from my window
The weather seems duplicating my emotions
I looked deeply into the darkness
Somehow I want to find a glimpse of heaven
Somewhere I want to find a glimmer of a shadow.
I started reminiscing the moments of you and I
I recounted the times we had together – the good and the bad
When you were my company of pursuits and day dreaming
When you helped design my written ideas into pictures
When you swayed my goals and painted it into a reality.
I began to find myself smiling at the recollection of you
My tears flowing not because I am sad but because I feel blessed
I had you maybe for a short time but those were moments of true love
You’ve taught me how to dream and be inspired of simple things
You’ve showed me how to love patiently even if it takes time.
The rain has stopped and the sun’s up to glitter and shine
I can see the rainbow as the white clouds covers the skies
I peeped through with a hope of seeing you once again – just this time
There I saw at the rainbow’s edge – You staring back with that same look of love
There, I know that even up there you will still paint my dreams with me.
For my Shadow….1 year on 10th Dec.
Always in my heart my little girl.
6 Dec 2015
It’s 2 am – the night’s over as dawn and cold wind fills the air
I’m still wide awake – feeling chilly under the sheets
I pulled the blanket tighter to hopefully cover the draft
I tossed and turned to find a perfect pose to sleep
No matter how I try the bed still feels hollow and empty.
It’s 2 am – my eyes still searching for a way
The void I feel inside is exhausting me – it’s frustrating
There’s this anxious feeling of waiting for tomorrow to come
I clutched the pillow next to me as I looked at the vacant spot
Running my hand on your crumpled space thinking how much I miss you.
It’s 2 am – I stared at my phone wishing you’ve read my mind
There is that silent prayer – that maybe you woke up thinking of me
There is that whispered hope – that maybe you’re missing me
There is that spark of warmth – that you dreamt of me
Just a “Hello” will be enough for me to shut my eyes.
It’s 2 am – I decided to try as I am getting jaded
Then suddenly I hear a ring – I’ve got a message
I felt butterflies in my stomach – a sweet tingling in my ear
Excitedly I checked – a note from you saying, “Hush little one and close your eyes, I’m here.”
It’s 3 am – tightly I cuddled your pillow, now I’m off to beautiful slumber deep.
26 Aug 2014
Image credits to bikerornot.com
The ray of the sun is striking – my eyes are hurting as it warms my face
Maybe because I’m sat right at the sun’s heat
I tried to use my hand to shield me – it gave a little relief
But I got tired from holding my arm up – I’m just tired altogether
But it doesn’t matter now – the sun will be down soon.
I’ve been up all night – now it’s the morning after
I’ve waited for you – you said you’ll be home soon yet you’re not
I could not sleep without you beside me – I got used to having you next to me
Spent the whole night counting the stars as it falls
But then it doesn’t matter now – the sun will set soon.
Tears started to fall all over again – I can’t understand why
When you left you just said, “I’ll see you tonight.”
Tonight became morning – you were a no show
I kept searching for reasons – I reached for answers
But it doesn’t matter – the sun will be gone soon.
I sobbed at the thought of us – summer was great
We made promises to each other – made plans for tomorrow
Recounting our moments together – I realised summer was different
I kept to my illusions – to stop myself from hurting
But it doesn’t matter now – the sun is slowly descending soon.
I wiped my tears away – trying to face reality
You are never coming back – you have traded me, you chose her
The lies and deceit – are obvious reasons why you run away
For one last time – I watched the sun set from afar to say “Goodbye”
And it doesn’t matter now – the sun will rise tomorrow and so will I.
25 Aug 2014
Image from hdw.eweb4.com
A one rainy Monday morning and the coldness is calming
With a cup of coffee on hand to warm my fingers
The place looks so quiet – it feels like I’m somewhere in space
I turned the radio on and the music filled the empty house
I sat on the lounge – feeling lazy, cozy and content
Yet something is missing – a certain someone isn’t here.
As I finished my coffee then a familiar song is played
I tapped my finger on the cup to join the beat
I closed my eyes – the melody filled my mind as I sang along
In my thoughts I slowly painted a face – a familiar smirk I love seeing
Your image came in view – chanting the lyrics of the song with me.
As the music continues to play – you stretched your arms out
I reached to hold your hand – we danced like crazy even with four left feet
We giggled at each others misery – you kept stepping on my toes as I do the same
We laughed and twirled like kids spirited away
Then we slow danced – all I hear are our hearts beat like a drum.
The music halted into a finish – another song came to play
You held me tight as my head rests on your shoulder – we moved to the rhythm
You raised my head – I looked up then you said, “I guess this is our new song.”
I smiled back – I rest my head on your chest I whispered, “Yeah, some love song perfect for our crazy love.”
I opened my eyes to reality – there you are sheepishly telling me, “I so crazy love you, Stupid.”
25 Aug 2014
Staring curiously at a blank wall – with questions in mind
It looks so vacant – unspoiled from tarnish and dirt
The plainess of it seem tamed – there is a sense of modesty yet cautious
The surrealist of it is uncompromising – innocent and naive
Evoking my imagination – to craft my emotions.
Viewing the spotless wall – I find my own self
An empty canvas set to be painted on – a life’s creation
I started to fill my thoughts with memories – of faded photographs and the gallery of images
My emotions stitching together – figuring out a sketch
The brush strokes slowly weaving from one end to another – an abstract is formed.
As the painting slowly comes to life – it features a different scene
Illusions from a distance in a sterioscopic view – a perception of what I want to see
I took a step back – to reflect on what I have created
I started to realise – This is definitely not me!
What I am seeing is the replica of what I wish I am and what I thought I should be.
I reached deeper to my thoughts – my inner sensibilities
Who am I? What am I – what I have become?
Re-touching the prints – I have found the beauty of my being
Freehanded and guided with the true essence of life’s art – I have found love
Now I am staring intently at the masterpiece – there I saw strength and a beautiful soul.
24 May 2014
Image: Credits to http://www.wallchan.com
Life has many colours – different meanings in different angles
Life at times is difficult to understand -difficult to reach and makes us wonder
But looking outside in we accept – life can be a rainbow of dreams
It teaches us lessons – make us realise its beauty
It makes us glow – to whatever darkness we may be in
It makes us grow – to finding our strength when we thought we have lost.
White – emptiness and fragile – a devoid of extreme highs or lows
Life living in stillness – a quiet calm and a vacant spot of silence
A pause for time – to surface when needed
A chance for change – an unmasking of mood
A slow moving of one’s state of mind.
Black – is darkness like a sombre in hue
A passion gone – cold and calculating
A struggle of faith for a bleak of hope – a shadow of notion
A blemish of perfection in life – desolate of emotions
A feeling of fear and a battle of doubts inside.
Yellow and Gold – some call it jealousy
I call it a new day – a new horizon
The sun has risen – a new hope has arrived
It sends waves of passion – a renewal of accepting new challenges
Filled with new defenses – a rage for living life.
Green – the earth’s unripened sphere
The trees are its warriors to guard nature’s offsprings
As the leaves changes every season
Its roots have claimed the land
And the grass blankets the world – to keep us grounded.
Blue – clear skies and deep settled seas
A peaceful resemblance of a blank canvas
A transparent crisp iced water – refreshing and tranquil
A tune of freedom – a serene blend of enchantment
It is the silence of the psyche – an unperturbed distance of the mind.
Red – the colour of blood flowing deep
A source of energy and emotions
A palpating sound of our every depth
In every beat sends impulses to our thoughts – the desires of the heart
In a momentum – there is that sense of warmth within our soul.
Life is not always easy – its a profound depth of living
It is a continuous process – of aiming, losing and winning
It is a constant battle of wants and needs – of hopes and dreams
Life in the end is our blank paper – to design and create
And our life becomes our masterpiece – a priceless possession.
Written: 1994 and 2014
In a slow pace I searched for a path – to guide me through
Signs I see is wrapped in stripes of enquiry – a scheme to cover the way
Each symbol designed with mazes and puzzles to solve
Mysteries binded – to use logic rather than guess
To analyse with reasons – a balance for making decisions
To weigh each challenge – with a hope to keep going
To comprehend with a stable mind – for a leap of faith to try harder
And a gentle listen to my heart – to find a right choice in life.
I closed my eyes – it feels dark without a hand to show directions
Passion stirring my senses – as my feet joined the ground
Doubts clinging – as suspicions clog my thoughts
A moment of weakness and of loss – frightened to what is ahead
Finding answers I realised takes so much of me – my faith and my will almost empty
The journey is far ahead – the road endless and winding
The walk is heavy – my body fighting to stay sturdy to every step
My strength is consumed – body and mind slowly draining away.
I thought of giving up – but perseverance is pushing me
I thought of turning back – but my motivation is proding me
I thought of finding the easier way – but curiousity is prompting me
But then I kept going – there are signs of courage showing me everywhere
I see trees of wisdom – coaching me to stand on my ground
I smell wild flowers of purity – coaxing my heart to cast away doubts
I felt the breeze of hope – enticing my mind to believe in my spirit
The beauty of each senses – carrying my soul to my dreams.
Through this I have recognised – my life is my purpose
I stand contented and serene – the world is my garden as I am the clay master
Everything is mine to mold – to be what I want it to be
That every soil I gather – there is a chance to find an art of nature
That every source around me – is a choice to create my own design
To find myself among others – even in my imperfections
To find happiness and peace – even in a world of madness
And to find innocence and simplicity – even in a life of contemporaries.
12 April 2014