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Laying down all alone – night feels cold and empty
Tossed and turned – restless and shiverimg like a frightened child
The rain pouring and muds thrushing from one corner to another
Gazing from my window – the clouds look like angry dragons blowing thunder and lightning

The weather seem to guess my moods – tracing my veins protruding from my temple
Pulses racing – heart so heavy and ready to let go
Hints of denial -that I am crushed…that I am dying inside
Although I know I said I don’t need you – but I do…I really do.

Tonight – I want to be alone but I can’t and I don’t want to
You’ve made me get used to having you around – the nights were never cold
I was always wrapped tenderly in your arms – locked tightly and safely
Holding me as endless and kissing me forever.

We laughed together – although our jokes were silly and corny
We both had dreams – made plans for the future
We’ve made promises – made a pact
We had our lives ready for tomorrow – but tomorrow is gone.

I trembled from the pain – my soul pierced by an arrow of misery
I closed my eyes not to be shaken from the memories of you
I want to shut you out – one who got away from my life
Losing you is a nightmare – and will haunt me for awhile.

Forgetting you is hard – realising you are gone and have moved on is the hardest
Loving you was easy – being with you and having you beside  me was the easiest
Losing you is losing myself – knowing from tonight I will be on my own
Healing will be a challenge – yet I am sure I will find myself again…in time.

Anja-Mariela Gutierrez
Taken excerpts from poem written in Sep 1996
Revised: 25 Feb 2014

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