The gloom of the day seem favoring my thoughts,
The silent coldness of my existence enveloping time,
The beat of my heart aggravating every system,
The normal breaths becoming a painful sigh,
And the sweet gentle cuddle becoming a clench of hurt.

Looking back from a yesterday I thought I have done something right
Looking back from a past I thought I have made a better choice
Searching pass I seem to have followed a straight path
Searching slow I seem to have chosen a   solemn promise or a broken vow
Yet I seem to have gained an endless worth of pain.

I closed my eyes to shut reality to form a dream
I clenched my fist to tighten my grip to another hope
I directed my soul to search for something happy…and serene
I imagined my heartbeat to find a connection somewhere
Then I wrestled at stopping the incoming flow of tears slowly dripping.

I fought for my system to find an equilibrium
To somehow find an outlet for the tears not to flow
I tried to pray harder this time to take away the hurt I feel
I summoned for miracles to block out such pain inside me
Just then, there seem nothing I can do and nothing seem to be alright.

I caved in to my thoughts and all the emotions stirring my world
I don’t know if I can still hold on to each teardrop that falls
I’m afraid it may not be enough for me to stop at each pain
When the tears starts falling I may not be able to hope
Coz when a tear drops I know…I am already broken…I’m already drowned.

Anja-Mariela Gutierrez
27 Dec 2010